return my video game
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
