I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
