So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
