yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
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