Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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