You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
