Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize