Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize