Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
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