I accidentally had phone sex last night
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
