id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize