Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I love you. Go after that dick
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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