I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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