my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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