Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
