There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
