Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
