My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
