is your mom at the bar?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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