Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
