i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
