Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
