youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
