A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
