so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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