Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
