i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize