he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
