I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
