hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
