If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
