On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
