cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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