Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
