It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
