doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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