I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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