'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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