Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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