Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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