It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
