Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
