I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
