i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
