she looked like the bat from fern gully.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
