Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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