maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
