She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
