Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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