It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
