I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
What a dumb baby whore.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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