I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
