Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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