I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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