i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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