Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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