Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
