yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She even gives head with a lisp.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
