return my video game
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
