this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
