I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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