i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
