So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
