Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
