hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
