It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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