is wine microwaveable?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
