Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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