after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You can't just leave with hair like that
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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