i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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